Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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