he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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