i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
