She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
