There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize