I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
nutella sex= disaster
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
