pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
