you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
