so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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