remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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