Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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