Kareoke will never be a sober sport
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
