hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
