I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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