**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
