If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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