My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
