Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Michael Bay diarrhea
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
