I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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