how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
