I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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