Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
