we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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