I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
