Kareoke will never be a sober sport
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
