I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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