well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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