i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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