someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
