ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize