OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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