just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
