exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
