i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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