i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize