My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
