guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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