I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize