I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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