Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
