I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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