ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
