I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize