Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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