think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
