My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
