you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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