OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
