champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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