You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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