bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
