You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
