i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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