You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
