Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize