Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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