You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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